Sit-in with Lydia - P2 kid, stealing case.

"Do you know why you are here?"
"We are not here to scold you.. we're here to find out more and see how we can help you."

Ask specific questions..
"He hit you? Which part?"
"He scolded you? What words did he use?"
"You want to change friends? Change to who? How are you going to tell her you don't want to be her friend?" And then affirm her when she gives good ideas.. "I think that's a very good way!"

I liked it that Lyd put across the hard truth to her.. I think I'd have difficulty telling her that she has to bear responsibility for stealing even though it was done out of peer pressure. And also in telling her that it seems like her friends make use of her and then wriggle themselves out of trouble.

You know, she said this girl pressured her into doing it and then ran off.. I'm wondering if we should also engage this girl. How important is it at this point? I don't know, but for all we know, she might also have gone round pressuring other kids to do it.

Sit-in with FL - 27 June '06 - PCGO.

Talked about children..
- children's eating habits
- what time do they eat
- who takes care of them
- who bathes them

Husband's away 3 weeks out of a month.. that's very long.. it's like he's only around from Jan-Mar and away from April-Dec. Whoa.

"What do you think it might be like for her now that she's confined to the home cos she needs to take care of the kids?" [Process question]

"What do you think work means to her?" [Process question]

Clt related a certain difficult situation..

"How did you handle this situation?"
"What are your concerns about this?"
"Why does having an answer mean so much to you?"

"I cannot speak for your wife but it could be that..."

"Your approach comes from a good intention.. but the way in which you approach it is a bit scary for her? I'm wondering how we can put the intention to her in a friendlier way."

My thoughts..
I was wondering if client might have seen SWer as an advocate for his wife, cos it seemed that the session centred around "how we can help your wife do...", "what do you think it means to her?". But that was also necessary to elicit his views on these matters - it made him think of where he stands on these issues.

FL said she has to be careful not to be their messenger.. hmm.. quite hard huh.

I'm also wondering about confidentiality. At what point should you convey what each has spoken about to the other party? Is it that you consider if it has therapeutic value to clt first?

He is about 10 years older than her.. what sort of issues does a couple like that face?
- in-laws issue
- caregiving to children issue
- cooking issue
- different needs.. a 33-year-old has very different needs from a 23-year-old even though they are at the same stage of development according to Erikson's pyschosocial theory of development intimacy vs isolation. Tada! I found a shortfall in Erikson's theory. Hahaha.

Needs of the 33-year-old... establishing his career, making money to provide for his family.. someone to engage him at his level? I'm wondering how much a 23-year-old can relate to stress-at-work issues.

Needs of the 23-year-old.. intimacy with husband, but he's not around most of the time, experiencing life.. see more of what's out there.. but since she has children to take care of, these needs seem to go unmet.

Dare You to Move - by Switchfoot.

FT has his Bad Day by Daniel Powter to cheer himself up on bad days. That song only makes me sadder.

Here goes mine:

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone’s here
Everyone’s here
Everybody’s watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

I dare you to rise above mediocrity. I dare you to move.

Man, no more slacking. Complete all the necessary case recordings.

Tasks to be completed:
1. Case recording for session #1 with food rations client - by Tues
- Call her up to follow-up, if found job and no need anymore food rations, close case.

2. Case recording for session #1 with 10 kids client - by Mon
- Note down all details about children.
- Call her to arrange for session #2 and remind her to bring all bills.

3. Report for SReP client - by Wed
- Call her to collect vouchers and get children's details.
- Complete the report!

4. Prepare for Tues 230pm case. Check out Minds and APSN.

5. Call up the parent. Why didnt she turn up?? Perhaps her own issues are not as important to her right now as her children's education. Motivational interviewing (Rollnick, M., 2002) would suggest we find out her level of confidence, readiness and how important change is to her. Perhaps for her, she is willing (importance) and able (confidence) to change, but not ready to do so.

6. Churn out minutes.. of which I didn't understand much of.. oops.

Anyway, welcome to an exciting week ahead!

Recap of last week:
I was glad that the SReP client made so much effort to improve her situation. I see that she has sacrificed alot. But, in saying that by terminating SReP assistance, we're empowering her, I feel like a liar. She works as a karaoke hostess to make ends meet - how empowering is that. It's like releasing her to a patriarchal society where how much she earns depends on how many men she pleases. But, having said that, I also realise she has got human agency to make her choice and a choice to say 'NO'. It must have been such a struggle for her to go back. Remember I chided myself for asking client if she'd go back to this line and she asked who would want to. But if this human dignity is not a concern for her now, then I can only end here. If there's room to work further, an area that can be explored includes picking up a new skill.

Last session of groupwork was a lil' messy. Better planning would definitely help.

NowI kinda like the younger kids! Those primary 3s. I realised I really enjoyed myself the day I went there to help out when Sammi wasn't around. Those primary ones are so cute!! Especially the boys! They're gonna be gorgeous hunks next time.

"What's 3 x 6?" And all they do is giggle back at you.

There was this day WP and I met 2 of the primary one boys on our way home, they just kept waving and waving to us. My heart melted. I'll take pictures with them before I leave!

15 June '06 - MP case, saying NO.

Had lots of difficulty saying to this couple that we can't help them. Looking at it from a very objective point of view, they really do not qualify.

What was difficult:
- Seeing the husband who is wheelchair-bound. I feel sad for them already.
- Seeing them struggle to live on so little.


But FL did reframe it very nicely - asking the wife to go and work is really a way of empowering her to support the family on her own. This brings me back to empowerment theory. This author whose name I cannot remember made a shocking (to me at least) statement, that not everyone likes to be empowered, cos that'd mean they have to expend energy to get things done for themselves.

Session #3 with parent.
Hard-going.. did prep work but still a lil' lost. Need to review tape again. Had difficult explaining certain issues pertaining to the role of a parent.

12 June '06 - Field Seminar #3

We discussed different issues pertaining to diversity. Legal issues, ethical issues and issues of diversity. FT commented, "Social work is really about diversity! When do you ever deal with sameness in social work?"

There was this interesting bit where this girl said that she'd wonder whether to report a youth on a Guidance Programme who was found smoking. That'd be considered a breach of the contract and once reported, they'd have to go to jail (i.e. no more second chance), according to this classmate. The thing is, if we report, they'd be sent to jail and it also breaks the client's trust in us.

2 things here:
- Something instinctively came up and I just asked "Whose need are you meeting if you report/don't report?" --> Need for client to continue trusting us (which could be something very personal and out of the professional boundary) so that we can continue working with client, or need to come across as a worker who faithfully follows protocol? Anyway, seems like I've been taught well at Care Corner huh. Whose need are we meeting? Then FT responded and said "Wow, I thought that was a powerful question, even I was stunned at that question." Heheheh.

- And what gives us the right to say that once a youth is being sent to jail, his/her future is gone. I can see that's coming from the viewpoint that there's so much stigma attached to being imprisoned, and their lives probably take a very different turn and could be qualitatively worse after the sentence is passed. But who is to say that this youth cannot make a comeback? I know such stories are rare... but if we hold on to this idea that after being sentenced it's a dead-end, what point is there in trying to re-integrate ex-convicts into society? Taking it a little further, it's like saying the Yellow Ribbon project is a waste of time.

The other thing was about the racial composition of the clients and of the social service agencies. Very disproportionate ratio - many more chinese social workers than that of other races, but clientele is predominantly Malays and Indians.. Was looking at Care Corner's annual report.. 54.2% Chinese clients. Really?

Anyway, FT's point was that there's gotta be greater understanding and acceptance of clients' views and belief system. Which is so real. I can sit here and type that I gotta accept that certain races prefer bigger families. And that not everyone from a certain race has a natural predisposition to alcohol addiction. But when I really see them face-to-face, what am I really thinking?

This leads me back to the Mustafa experience. I was amazed at the variety of things sold over there, but I was even more afraid. I felt so overwhelmed.. never been among a sea of Indians. I wonder how they feel when they walk among a sea of Chinese. A friend was telling me she wants to go there, but not on her own cos it's a scary place.

FT also mentioned something along the lines of Christian agencies being evangelical. And he feels that a graduate who is employed by an agency should be on the basis that he/she is a Social Worker and not a Christian Social Worker or a Buddhist Social Worker. So he doesn't agree that social service agencies should be evangelical. Same here.

At first, another Christian friend and I were talking about our struggle over this point.. like if there's no way out, and God seems like the only way out, should the gospel be preached? I think no.. there's a time and season for everything.. and I think that since Social Work is a profession then it should remain just that. To clients, if their basic needs are not met, I don't think knowing God would be their chief concern. I think when at work, I kinda shed off a part of myself to be a social work intern. I don't know if it's good or bad, but it's necessary. Present the face of a man to clients who need the human face most! (with ref to Ezekiel 1)

12 June '06 - Group work session #3 with children from Students' Care

This session was about anger management.

Activities included using one of the worksheets from one of the books we borrowed. It's called Counseling Children. Very good book, useful cos it doesn't just tell you the theories but shows you how they can be applied.

This time round, we used their territory. And it was a smaller group of 16 compared to the usual. The usually disruptive ones were not around, so those present were more or less the slightly angelic ones. Thank God!

I felt that WP and I were more prepared in terms of the tiny details and in terms of material. The kids were also more cooperative this time round and followed most of our instructions. One creative idea I liked was the balloon idea that WP suggested! I think that engaged the kids quite a bit!

However, having said that, I also wonder about the effectiveness of these group sessions. At different points, I felt we were running groups for the sake of running groups - no proper screening, we didn't know much about their background, only had verbal feedback from Sammi. I think when we talk about effectiveness, it comes back to what kind of results we want to see and then evaluate from there. Hmm, since this group sessions were designed with the intention of teaching them skills.. like managing your anger, relating to your peers, building your self-esteem. I wonder how much they brought back with them and more importantly, applied those skills into their lives. I also wonder how much is up to them and how much responsibility facilitators assume for the success (or the lack of it) for these group sessions.

It was disappointing to see that the very people we were trying to teach anger management to were also the ones that were so angry (cos they lost in the preceding games) that they refused to participate in the group work.

However, this 3rd session to me was good because, a significant majority were very participative and involved in the games and were attentive when WP and I were trying to bring across certain ideas.

Good job, WP!

Add-on to previous entry.

Oh my.. can I also add that it was painful to hear myself speak excessive Singlish with the 2 kids. It hurt my ears big-time!! Not that I speak very proper English most of the time.. but I'm sure I could speak more decent English with them.

Stop it stop it! You're gonna destroy their future with the kind of Eng.. oops Singlish you speak! I'm sure there's a way of connecting with the children using their language but without the Singlish.

Ya.. the Singlish bit disturbed me quite a bit.

But I love the 2 kids! They are really very sweet children. When reviewing, I also saw the older child clear the toys away for me so that I could go out of the room. Nice one. Hahaha.. and they call me weird names.. like "Officer!". Cute.

I wish the groupwork children can turn into angels overnight.

06 June 2006 - Session #2 with one of the clients.

In my preparation for case sessions, this is one which I feel most lost about. It seemed that even reading the books that I borrowed could not get me out of this wilderness.

There are books on counseling children, and also about children who have ADHD. But no books (at least I couldn't find them) on counseling children with ADHD.

So here goes. I prepared a simple maze.. with different stations they have to pass through. This apparently wasn't interesting enough for them.

What was challenging...
- Engaging the kids.. At different points I was at a loss. I asked many close-ended questions which obviously could not draw them out much. I need to practise asking more open-ended, non-abrasive questions.

- Picking up non-verbal cues from them. Lyd called in to say they don't feel safe yet, so I should try and engage them more. Hmm, I didn't pick that up. How do you know if they feel safe or not?

- Going deeper into issues using child language. Firstly, I didn't know how deep I could go - mum was around, I wasn't sure what she conveyed to the kids, and if it was ok for me to go deeper. Even with her permission, it was difficult - I don't know what the kids know/don't know. Secondly, I don't know how to go deeper. No skill, no theory here.

- I did not know how to respond to what they say.

Like at one point one boy said "I'm not smart la, I cannot do anything".
[Why do you say you're not smart? What are the things you're good at?]

I also did not know how to respond to their actions. How do I tell them not to throw toys around without being harsh?
[Could you not throw toys around? It's not nice to throw toys around. How would you feel if people throw your toys around?]

Of course, the challenge is also to address the issue there and then. Cos with children, after a remark and they move on, it's really difficult to go back to a particular point.

What is lacking...
- Skills - No proper experience working with children. Like I didn't observe then that one of the boys reacted when mum put them in a difficult position. Also didn't know how to stop her. [Anyway, FL said to affirm and then take charge.]
- Knowledge - I saw theories flying out the window for this session.
- Creativity.. this could be because I don't quite know what would appeal to primary school boys.

What could be done to improve...
- Read up! Think I wasn't systematic in preparing for this session. Just kept thinking about what I should do with the 2 boys. Fear played a part in keeping me unsystematic and confused.
Perhaps I could have organised it this way:
- What stage of development is this boy at? Try Erikson's psychosocial theory of development.
- What are the characteristics of ADHD?
- How should I engage them?

Also, I think watching/observing other experienced workers work with children would help a great deal.

Hmm.. those questions were in my mind when i was trying to read up.. but they just couldn't fit together. Still comes back to limited experience. Felt so undynamic in the room with them.

What was good...
- The fact that I tried reading up. But her son didn't exactly fit the characteristics mentioned I think.
- That I sat on the floor with them at one point. I felt it bridged the gap a little.
- I picked up the client's need for affirmation from her children.

Day 21 @ Care Corner Session #1 with client #2

Note to self:
- Don't tell client "It's not that hard right?". Hello.. she's been telling you the past one hour how difficult it has been.
- Be more extravagant with your affirmation. If she cries, let her cry.

Ok, I'm getting the hang of session #1.. what to ask etc. It's the handling of emotions part. Lots of sharpening to do. Still scared of tears and going deeper into how they feel. Ok, but it gets better with each practice. Thank God!

The funniest part was when out of nowhere I asked "You hot or not?". Then she looked a little bewildered "Like huh.. what an inappropriate question to ask!". Then I talked about aircon. Hehehe.

But otherwise, it was a good session. It was very encouraging to see her trying again and again despite many setbacks.