Sit-in with FL - 27 June '06 - PCGO.

Talked about children..
- children's eating habits
- what time do they eat
- who takes care of them
- who bathes them

Husband's away 3 weeks out of a month.. that's very long.. it's like he's only around from Jan-Mar and away from April-Dec. Whoa.

"What do you think it might be like for her now that she's confined to the home cos she needs to take care of the kids?" [Process question]

"What do you think work means to her?" [Process question]

Clt related a certain difficult situation..

"How did you handle this situation?"
"What are your concerns about this?"
"Why does having an answer mean so much to you?"

"I cannot speak for your wife but it could be that..."

"Your approach comes from a good intention.. but the way in which you approach it is a bit scary for her? I'm wondering how we can put the intention to her in a friendlier way."

My thoughts..
I was wondering if client might have seen SWer as an advocate for his wife, cos it seemed that the session centred around "how we can help your wife do...", "what do you think it means to her?". But that was also necessary to elicit his views on these matters - it made him think of where he stands on these issues.

FL said she has to be careful not to be their messenger.. hmm.. quite hard huh.

I'm also wondering about confidentiality. At what point should you convey what each has spoken about to the other party? Is it that you consider if it has therapeutic value to clt first?

He is about 10 years older than her.. what sort of issues does a couple like that face?
- in-laws issue
- caregiving to children issue
- cooking issue
- different needs.. a 33-year-old has very different needs from a 23-year-old even though they are at the same stage of development according to Erikson's pyschosocial theory of development intimacy vs isolation. Tada! I found a shortfall in Erikson's theory. Hahaha.

Needs of the 33-year-old... establishing his career, making money to provide for his family.. someone to engage him at his level? I'm wondering how much a 23-year-old can relate to stress-at-work issues.

Needs of the 23-year-old.. intimacy with husband, but he's not around most of the time, experiencing life.. see more of what's out there.. but since she has children to take care of, these needs seem to go unmet.