06 June 2006 - Session #2 with one of the clients.

In my preparation for case sessions, this is one which I feel most lost about. It seemed that even reading the books that I borrowed could not get me out of this wilderness.

There are books on counseling children, and also about children who have ADHD. But no books (at least I couldn't find them) on counseling children with ADHD.

So here goes. I prepared a simple maze.. with different stations they have to pass through. This apparently wasn't interesting enough for them.

What was challenging...
- Engaging the kids.. At different points I was at a loss. I asked many close-ended questions which obviously could not draw them out much. I need to practise asking more open-ended, non-abrasive questions.

- Picking up non-verbal cues from them. Lyd called in to say they don't feel safe yet, so I should try and engage them more. Hmm, I didn't pick that up. How do you know if they feel safe or not?

- Going deeper into issues using child language. Firstly, I didn't know how deep I could go - mum was around, I wasn't sure what she conveyed to the kids, and if it was ok for me to go deeper. Even with her permission, it was difficult - I don't know what the kids know/don't know. Secondly, I don't know how to go deeper. No skill, no theory here.

- I did not know how to respond to what they say.

Like at one point one boy said "I'm not smart la, I cannot do anything".
[Why do you say you're not smart? What are the things you're good at?]

I also did not know how to respond to their actions. How do I tell them not to throw toys around without being harsh?
[Could you not throw toys around? It's not nice to throw toys around. How would you feel if people throw your toys around?]

Of course, the challenge is also to address the issue there and then. Cos with children, after a remark and they move on, it's really difficult to go back to a particular point.

What is lacking...
- Skills - No proper experience working with children. Like I didn't observe then that one of the boys reacted when mum put them in a difficult position. Also didn't know how to stop her. [Anyway, FL said to affirm and then take charge.]
- Knowledge - I saw theories flying out the window for this session.
- Creativity.. this could be because I don't quite know what would appeal to primary school boys.

What could be done to improve...
- Read up! Think I wasn't systematic in preparing for this session. Just kept thinking about what I should do with the 2 boys. Fear played a part in keeping me unsystematic and confused.
Perhaps I could have organised it this way:
- What stage of development is this boy at? Try Erikson's psychosocial theory of development.
- What are the characteristics of ADHD?
- How should I engage them?

Also, I think watching/observing other experienced workers work with children would help a great deal.

Hmm.. those questions were in my mind when i was trying to read up.. but they just couldn't fit together. Still comes back to limited experience. Felt so undynamic in the room with them.

What was good...
- The fact that I tried reading up. But her son didn't exactly fit the characteristics mentioned I think.
- That I sat on the floor with them at one point. I felt it bridged the gap a little.
- I picked up the client's need for affirmation from her children.